keenan's log Recording things so that I don't forget them.

Unrequited Lambdas

In the schematics of my dreams, I simulate projections of you  
Onto arbitrary vector spaces, yet you remain idempotent  
Are you in a higher dimension? I should hope not  
I only wish to lie self-adjoint to your subspace.  

Dirichlet declared, the finite partition of my heart  
The indices of my uncertainty, from 1 to n, and yet  
Siegel swore — that even among infinity,  
we can construct one-to-one correspondence.

You rule your own surface, without orientation.  
Until your object is proved, my affection is trivial.   
Need you invoke the axiom of choice?  
Take me on a stroll in Euclidean space and give me a sign.   

Over this finite graph, we walk on a single Markov chain  
You are stationary; your actions aperiodic  
Your reactions recurrent; again and again  
Eventually, we collide — 

Our coupling bound from above.

Notes

I was deeply inspired by Stanislaw Lem’s Love and Tensor Algebra and tried to imitate its wistful nature (which was created by a machine!). In matters of the heart, I have often found mathematics as the outlet for expressing my thoughts without laying bare my soul. Although each line aptly describes my feelings and I am able to translate the meaning of each line, I am reminded of the fact that meaning is created by the reader.

The final verse was completed first, penned during a lecture on Markov chains. I found their behavior rather poetic and mirroring my own internal turmoil at the time: collisions, recurrence, and stationarity. As I read and re-read Love and Tensor Algebra, I found myself struggling to capture the same mathematical essence; I hardly understood much of his poem myself. In the end, I realized that I can only write what I know – so I drew upon the most fundamental background I had: linear algebra and introductory discrete mathematics.

Although the verses are seeped in mathematical jargon, I hope that the ordinary English meanings of the words remain clear and accessible.